Do you want to know the best way to get the girl of your dreams to love you, kiss you and much much more?
Because I know the secret technique. It has happened to me! Well sort of.
Let me explain or rather paint the picture for you.
I was about 7 years old, and at the time very much in love. My first crush. Going to school early, matter of fact, running to school. I loved putting my mac daddy skills on this fine crush of mine.
We were getting close; you know, that scary, highly anticipated and yet beautiful exchange of feelings.
Seems like destiny. Especially since God also placed her in the same neighborhood as me. I was sure that any day now, that first kiss was going to happen.
Well it did! Just not with me. lol.
Imagine the happiness, the anticipation, the excitement and the fear when it was time to go outside and play. Play with your friends and that crush that’s going to be there waiting for you.
Now imagine, you come outside one day and everyone; friends, adults and strangers (you know the people in your community…pretty much) egging on your crush to kiss someone that is not you.
What?
No?
What?
F**K, F**K, F**K!
they kissed
and
now they are a couple…
what the hell happened here
God is this a joke?
the little thoughts in my head.
Of course, no one knew but my wittle little heart.
My first heart break!
My girl stolen by the very people I trusted in my community. Maybe I was stretching the truth a little bit when I said earlier that I know the secrete to getting any girl. But can you argue, the power of influence the people in your community have?
Maybe now you understand why this article is deserving of this title. This is the story of how life helps songwriters like myself, to tap into creative powers that be, and be able to create sad songs for the ages.
If you’ve read any business article of mines’ or even listened or watched my songs, you will know, I don’t do a lot of cussing or talking about sex.
I want a clean professional resume as a new singer songwriter of the Jmusic- Singer and Songwriter brand.
But Today, I am talking about my Life.
There is going to be some cussing going on here.
You Have Been Warned! lol!
It has not been a happy go lucky type of deal for me. Seriously.
When I write sad songs sometimes, I don’t have a choice. The sadness is attached to my soul.
It’s like having a director of a movie that loves throwing the shittiest of the shitty shit in my way. I kid you not.
Born November 1989 West Africa Sierra Leone, home of the blood diamonds, as you may know. I came to the United States at a young age with a Mom, a Dad, and a little Sister.
Of course, I also came with the pain, fear, and hunger living in a third world country in the midst of a troublesome war.
The plenty songs, whether sad songs, fun songs, or happy songs that I write, are all the results of years of experience and my ability to tap into a superpower gained from mostly hard times.
Life was the teacher that made me one of the top new singer songwriters for you to care about. The spark of J will be explained shortly.
The supportive foundations that kept my pain and fear in check was due to the excitement that came from the understanding that my family and I were now on a different part of the globe.
The highly praised and talked about “American Dream” was a reality for us.
I was not disappointed. To partake in this culture, as I was growing into adulthood is and was the best thing that has ever happened to me.
It is here, that I went to elementary, middle, and high school. Not to mention 4 plus years in College. My family grew in number, with a very smart little kid brother around year 2000.
I got really really tall in those years
about 5″4 -5″5 ish lol.
Very tall in-deed.
In my world, I am the tallest man you will ever meet.
But I guess not a lot of people see it that way. You get treated a certain way, when someone can see the top of your head.
Blame it on human nature. I am not the one to back down though. Respect must be given at all times. So I don’t move around as the funny guy. But I’ve been told, I got skills in making the ladies laugh.
Well, when you can’t woo the ladies with looks, other skills must be honed. Right?
I am very skillful. Yes.
But it’s still a sad song. Lots of missed opportunities, betrayals, and plain miss-understandings. Even shitty shit Skelton’s in my closet that must stay hidden lol.
That is my life.
IN one word experience.
For the new singers and aspiring musicians, I want you to know this.
There is not a musician alive that can tap into the power of a sad song if they are not genuine.
They either have to have the ability to be empathic (putting themselves into someone else’s position or they must have experienced it for real in their life.
As for me, I have to say, its a matter that is half and half. In other words both apply.
What I will do now is zoom through the later part of my life here in the United States of America. If I were to go in-depth explaining the very vivid memories of experiences I have had, it would be the size of a novel.
Then maybe you would be motivated to listen to my sad songs when you are sad.
I want you to join the SPARK OF J FAN CLUB, and for that reason, I better explain the meaning to you.
Skip if you want, it’s mundane if you ask me. I am sure I am not the only one that has had a share of pain.
The below text, simply gives an overview of certain topics that has affected me. These effects, aided in my ability as a singer and a songwriter.
LIFE EXPERIENCES AND EMPATHIC SKILLS HAVE HELPED ME BECOME A BETTER SONGWRITER.
WHEN life brings you bullies, you learn how to stand up for yourself. In addition, you also learn some empathic skills that hopefully would make you a protector of other people.
Because you understand how bad it is to get bullied, you try your best to protect others from that faith.
If you are a singer, aspiring musician, or any person worth knowing, know that there is no one way to deal with bullies.
You can stand up to them, you can rally support, you can learn new skills on how to talk and interact with them and much more. The most important thing however is to do something.
When you have done something to handle your bullies (IN A POSITIVE AND HARMLESS WAY I SHOULD ADD, put it in a song.
That’s what I do anyways. Its a therapy for us singer songwriters.
Having a Clear conscious is a major blessing we have to be appreciative off.
As for me, I have dealth with all sorts of bullies in various forms. I am not a native speaker of the English language as you can tell.
Yes I can speak English like any other pure American Born citizen. I can even do a waltz speaking the slang style, Gangster and Godfather approach lol.
I can do the old style English speaking style if I choose, only true English majors can see that in my writing, and much more.
Then why is this a problem?
Well first of all, it has not always been that way. Lack of speaking without an accent is a hurdle for Sierra Leone born citizens lol.
Even now, with all my experience, it does slip out. I can’t help it. Especially when I am agitated to the fullest.
I have dealt with passive aggressive people from all walks of life. You know, when someone wants to hurt you, but can’t act on their actions directly?
So they turn to the indirect method to introducing you to pain. I wish it wasn’t so. I’ve dealth with it, and have learned to fight against it the best ways how. Yes, the world can be a dangerous place. I know that is not something I have to tell you.
How about my inability to hold on to a job. I just recently finished my new job application and I was asked to provide the information to all my previous employment.
In Columbus Ohio alone, I have had about 16. I guess, there is something in the waters here in Ohio.
If you’ve been following me, you would have seen my rant video about how I was going to sue the court system as well. How upset can a person get to declare war on the people that make and live with the knowledge of American law? Funny right?
There is a lot of pent up rage that I am very active in controlling with the pursuit of my goals. Music, singing, writing are some of the best methods of coping.
Otherwise, I would just turn to a pointless way of leaving by trying to seek vengeance on people and their negative actions. My goals are a therapy and a valuable source to my healing.
Bullies will always exist, and I have prepared to interact with them. Life skills; something that is often overlook in the school system.
Believe it or not, there are also bullies working very hard trying to sabotage my progress in my business ventures. Do they hate music, or singers, or sad songs? Who knows.
This is a problem I’ve had to deal with both online and offline. Any online creator, will tell you about the trolls, the lack of support from people claiming they love what you are doing, and the accusations behind the back are too much to handle.
A guy has to really put on his big boy pants, in order to get anything done.
To all the bullies, I want you to know, I am strong. I will survive. Just as the words that were so brilliantly sang by Gloria Gaynor 1978.
In my opinion, a happy strong and sad song that will always live in the hearts of many. That is why I love music, and my ability to piece words together that will have a lasting impact on someone out there.
My experience with women have been a tale of poor timing, lack of proper judgement, misunderstandings, betrayals and just plain freaky weird. Some, I dare not talk about again.
In fact, I should even categories some parts of my experience into the bullies section. lol. I lol-d but really though, it’s not lol.
My first official girlfriend in high school. It started strange and ended strange. There was a girl with some really huge boobs, F if am not mistaken with a cast on her leg from a cheerleading incident lol.
Our relationship ended before her legs were healed. It helped me write another sad song.
I saw her in health class, sat next to her, put on my mac daddy charm and wholla. She confessed to liking yours truly during a private hanging out session in the gym.
It went something like this.
Stella (fake name of girl)
Stella: Blah Blah Blah, hey, I have something to tell you. Meet me here.
Me: ok.. errr.. what?
Stella: I like you, Ibrahim
Me: thinking.. (whaaaat…no way. Yes, ok. I want that. Thank you God.)
Me: speaking out in a cool subtle manner… (err..ok)
Stella: disappointed. Oh.. you don’t like me? Started to ramble with other words of disappointment.
Me: thinking… (wait, what? that’s not what I meant…baby. How could I not? )
Me: speaking out ..finally..(no…erm.. I.I.I do like you…too)
Stella: oh ok..
Me: errmm. yeah (with a cool sexual smile)
Stella: err ok. so erm.. you wanna start going out?
Me: erm… yes..
Boyfriend, girlfriend, contract signed and sealed with a kiss and a couple of long hugs.
Yayyy me!
Walking the hallways, holding hands and kissing was pretty cool. Her best friend was like; Ibrahim, you not doing it right. Stop moving when you are hugging her.
Ok. mam.
Understood.
But, shut up, it’s my first time.
It’s weird.
That was my thinking anyway. lol.
(If am not overthinking things, it seemed to me after the ordeal, that best friend had the hots for me too. She was too late.)
Our first conversation was soo weird. Between trying to not speak with my horrible accent, and finding the right things to say, we managed somehow.
It did get easier by our third and fourth. On what could have been our fifth phone conversation, the relationship ended. About a week and a half.
Yup. I blew it. What an experience to draw from, when writing the next sad song of mines.
Our conversation, went something like this.
Getting close to end of our conversation where normal people say goodbye, I said the “I love you” line. I couldn’t think of any other way of saying goodbye girl that I like.. like.
Stella: What? You love me?…
Me: panicky… oh no! practically shouting.
Me: I mean like.. I.I.I don’t love you.
Stella: clearly upset now.. what?
Sella: Yeah, ok… me too.. I don’t love you.
Me: what?
Stella: It’s over. I think we should broke up.
Me: Yeah ok..
End of conversation.
What? Grabbing my head, wondering what the hell just happened. I lost my Baby. Another heart break.
There was clearly left over feelings from both inexperienced lovers. In fact, for prom, we were casually talking and a second chance came up. She agreed to go with me to Prom.
Yes. But, what I had to do was out of the question. Blew it again. I was a senior, and she was a sophomore. She asked me to talk to her mom as a condition of our agreement.
To me, at the time, that was too much commitment. I was too scared of that, so that opportunity flew by.
To the girl that reminds me of Washington every time I think of our time together, girl am sorry. Yes, only she would know what the meaning of Washington is.
Have you ever had two gorgeous girls fighting for your love?
I have; and no it’s not a pretty experience. I loved them both equally. Well, one slightly over the other.
Mind you, this was happening during the same year I had my cheerleader girlfriend.
I still remember, sitting between those two, in an advance class for God’s sake. Man, this was the training grounds for the skills that get the ladies every time. I was charming, funny, witty and absolutely not paying attention in class.
One was thick and cute; and the other was skinny, and man her smile was just out of this world.
Not to mention, the girl with the pretty smile was unavailable. At that point though, it was not a matter of concern. The time we spent together was good enough.
All our time were spent giggling and having fun in class. It got to a point where all three of us were in sync mentally; we knew what was happening and what decision I had to make if I was going to get my cake.
We were speaking a language that only we understood. You know, that nonverbal speaking where each girl was saying ..hey quit playing and pick me already. And, no, there was no in between for the players out there.
I couldn’t possible make such a decision, that would hurt the other. However, now that I think about it, I did make a decision. The cute thick one made a very bold move.
She lean in close, perked her lips and said I want a kiss without uttering the words. Its was beautiful and scary at the same time. What a feeling. But I couldn’t possibly do that, especially with that smiling pretty big eyes leering at my back. This my friend, is call pressure.
Girl, … I can’t. We in class for goodness sake. Every one including the teacher will see; said I, without uttering a word.
The decision was made. How did I confess my love to the chosen girl?
The next semester after growing up some. I had some fresh clothes for the year and had thought about her a lot during the break.
This was love. So, a love letter, just like in the movies was the best move. I am gifted with words. So, that was my ammunition.
I explained, how a friend had falling down the slopes. She agreed to pull me up, but told me how busy she had gotten. She had started taking even more advance classes, and was into all sorts of activities.
Bad timing, but we dance at the high school dance. With a lot of spectators (friends) watching and egging our relationship forward. The power of community influence. Soo nice, when its working for you that is.
Sad to say, this relationship did not go anywhere. The timing was bad and the decision was made to put it off by me. We had no time alone, nor did we even kiss. Another sad song indeed.
Out of all the girls, she was the one I wanted to take to prom. At that time, however, she had another guy holding her hands.
I went to Prom in a party bus with a group of friends and a date that was introduced to me by another friend at the last minute. She was pretty too.
At prom, I wanted to talk to my pretty smiling crush soo much. I barely got away with a photo shoot, because this other guy was not a fool. She was never alone.
It was just a couple of mutual glances filled with regrets and un-satisfaction of our Prom experience. Well, in all fairness, I should say that for only myself. Who knows what was going on in her mind.
I do remember, her reluctance to kiss this other guy in front of me though. Thank you girl. I would’ve have died.
Another complete failure. It really did help me write a prom song. It don’t matter if it was a sad song to booth.
As for my date for the night, when I did start noticing how cute she was, the night was pretty ok. However, I do have a tip for any future guy going to the prom.
Don’t go in a party bus with a lot of friends, if you want to sneak away for a chance to get lucky. I was not lucky in that regard.
Another sad song about disappointment.
Oh, did I forget to mention?
On that party bus to prom, there was a girl in a beautiful pink dress that was suppose to be my first girlfriend.
Oh, the regrets.
Sitting right across from me, with arms around her by my arch ex-friend-enemy. How sad. The story went like this.
On the track team, she was the cute girl that motivated most of the guys to run extra hard. Light skin, very tall in comparison to me, but hey that never stopped me.
Some of the guys started noticing how I was charming my way in and man, I had never been laughed at so hard.
In the midst of everyone saying it will never happen, a bet was made. I accepted, willingly. Within a few days, boom she was mine.
Soon as I had ended the phone conversation with my new girl, my ex-friend-enemy called me and started asking questions as to how I did it.
What would any guy do in that situation. I boasted, laughed, and exaggerated the talk of my skills. I did win the bet so what can this ex-friend-enemy and I talk about if not that. Then the table was turned on me.
In the middle of our conversation, my newly won over girl spoke. She asked me to repeat everything I had said. This ex-friend-enemy of mines, had pre-arranged for her to listen in on our conversation.
My greatest defeat; caught in the middle of boasting and the shock of loosing a friend. I was silent till the end of the conversation. Insane right? There is not a sad song that is enough to portray my anger.
Speaking of the track team: I remember outperforming my fellow track members for a year straight… loved and appraised by the coaches and the other members.
Can you guess what reward I got during the award ceremony? Yup you guessed it. Practically an award for participation. The award that I deserved and earned was presented to the son or nephew of one of the coaches. No apologies, no explanation.
Except, bragging from that very underserving person who was a total looser during the whole season. Everyone knew that, on top of the fact that the coaches, were constantly on his ass trying to make him into a man.
My songs are not always an explanation of my life, they are just what I would want to say to someone who is presently feeling that type of way.
My experiences are just an example I fall back on, when trying to understand the emotion and how I can best put it into a song.
Back to my story…
To the beautiful girl in the pink dress, I am sorry, again. I feel, we would have worked things out, if you hadn’t decided to date the very guy that betrayed me. Perhaps it was to hurt me even more, either way, I deserve it.
I regret the most that your opinion of me had to change in that manner. Boys will always be boys, trying to out shine each other. So, I did not mean any of the things I had said.
I believe you knew this. Perhaps you were regretting the situation as much as I was; otherwise, why look and compliment me in that manner on our prom night. lol
Just another sad song of regrets, failures and a lesson learned by a now singer songwriter.
I’ve experienced a lot more hiccups and failures with women. Also, not all and definitely not the most amount of those experiences were my fault. I learn form my past mistakes and take on new approaches as I age in life.
The only problem now is, the older you get, the harder it becomes to fall in love with someone that closely allows you to feel the type of feelings like the first time you fell in love.
The pain of life does a number on you and makes you numb. My opinion at least. I do have a sad song, well maybe not sad, that explain this phenomenon perfectly. It has not been published to the public as of yet.
We all fight against loneliness and depression. That is something I learned about during the later parts of my life. The truth is, you can be surrounded my a lot of friends and still feel alone.
As for depression; well I hope that disease never comes into your life. Sometimes it come without you knowing it, and if you are aware then you are lucky my friend.
Because, at least then, you can seek help and even will yourself to do things that will help you get well.
I have had the opportunity to meet and interact with a lot of people up till now. From as far back as I can remember, elementary to college to other countries, I have been lucky to make friends from all walks of life.
As time past, they become faded memories, some stay as acquaintances, and only a few stick around as life long friends. I am sure its the same for you as well.
I am greatful because all these people that I have met, have pushed me to become better and have helped me greatly in learning more about myself and other people.
I can’t officially say I am an empath, simply because I am not special. At least I don’t feel that way. Yes I can put myself in other peoples shoes and allow myself to really understand how they might be feeling but this is a learnable skill that is available to everyone.
I feel most people hide, lie or pretend to not understand or care about other people’s feelings. Some simply don’t want to do it.
Now do you understand, how one can still be lonely even when surrounded by a lot of people?
I remember an experience long ago, when I was just hanging out with a few friends. There was a young lady that had joined our group as we were just hanging out and having pointless conversations.
There was one friend in particular that always likes to push the envelope.
In the middle of our conversation, he decided to turn his attention to the young lady, and started making un-cool remarks just to get everyone else to laugh.
This is the sort of things I don’t like. Yes it’s one thing to have fun making fun of each other, but it’s another thing when it starts to cross the line.
He went as far as calling her a name I don’t like. I had enough, and corrected him and re-assured the young lady that she was not any of those things.
To my surprise, when I was trying to now change the conversation, she insisted that it was ok. Plus saying my friend was right while trying to force a laugh.
This event is still in my mind today. It happened a long long time ago. This is a constant reminder to me as to how far some people will go to deceive themselves.
To fit in a group, to be around people you don’t like, to say things about yourself that are simply not true, and much much more forms of deceiving.
It gets lonely when you have a circle of friends and supporters who do not share the mantra of the golden rule.
What about you? Are you currently deceiving yourself about something or someone? If you had the chance, would you axe that certain someone out of your life? Did you know, sometimes, it’s completely more important to be alone than be surround by pointless people?
My talk on loneliness is important because these are the triggers for depression. Both, I’ve had experience with. Besides loneliness, there can be tremendous amount of stress and situations that call upon these diseases.
This reminds me of my college experience. Depression hit me in a sneaky way. I did not know I was sick until it was too late. It was one filled with stress, loneliness, fights and lies.
Of course, there were some awesome parts in my college experience, but it was more troublesome than it was worth. Wait on my life novel, you will love it. lol.
Hopefully, the little bit of information you’ve gotten today will give you just a little understanding of who I am. To summarize, like many of you, I’ve dealt with a lot of disappointments and heartbreaks of course.
I feel it’s important you know this because, how can you support a singer songwriter if you don’t know much about them.
Music and business, are my two chosen professions. I have been interested in business for as long as I can remember. I went to College in hopes of learning more about how to run one successfully.
I studied accounting, because as my mentors before me had said, it’s often the reason people fail in their business endeavors. The not knowing of whether they are in profit or loss is a big hurdle.
You’ve also seen, one or two examples of how failures are just another part of my experience in this life. In fact I see it as a metaphor.
You know how we as humans must inhale and exhale?
I implore you to see failures as and exhale part of your life. For when that part is over, we are then able to draw in and inhale new hopes, dreams and opportunities into our journey.
Like I said above, a big successful business was my main objective for a long time now. I first started my fist online event company around 2012 with a close friend of mine.
It was a complete failure; it even strained the relationship between me and that friend. I’ve learned a lot from that experience.
Well, I had always loved music. It has been the one thing that has always brought me up when I was feeling down. Since my first introduction to Usher back in high school, I especially love the rhythmic stylistic melodies of RNB.
Can you imagine how you will feel, as someone that can barely speak English, to be able to do the riffs and runs of superstars in the game? I found out I could in college.
From that day to now, I have spent a lot of time writing and practicing, including rapping with friends on the daily.
When I decided to start posing myself on YouTube, it was a cumulation of pent up rage, striving for an answer to the business I would love doing, and just plain ole luck. I like to think of it as a calling.
So now, there is no difference between my business and my music. They are one and the same, and will catapult me into the next phase if everything works as I am imagining it now.
Because, music has the power to heal, and save you. I choose to do the type of music that corresponds to the feeling of relatability. If you can relate as I can, then there is a great possibility it will save someone somewhere.
Music with a Spark. lol.
Join the fan-club.
Support me.
Lets make an impact.
Together.
One life
At A Time.
Eventually,
All Around
The World.
This is my first single as a new singer songwriter. Yes, it is a sad song. But it’s not for the reason you might think. I have not yet, as of this date writing this article, find the woman I will settle down with. However, this sad song is not entirely about me.
I simply used the bad experiences I have had, and a memory of a friend that was complaining about a situation where they were not able to see the love of their life, to write this song.
I can see this being the case for many people. Families with family members serving in a war, a son or daughter waiting for a loved one, and much much more.
SAD SONGS TO LISTEN TO BY IBRAHIM JAWARA “You Haven’t Been Here”
SAD SONGS TO LISTEN TO BY IBRAHIM JAWARA “VANESSA”
VANESSA is my second music single that I believe is worthy of respect. We all have a VANESSA somewhere in our lives, either present, past or Future (trust me lol)
Music with a Spark is a real thing.
Spark ⚡️ of J
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